Pirates In The Philippines

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We never run out of fun things to do in the Philippines. Today, Dan Andrews and me decided to steal a 30ft boat.

The boat was moored at the neighboring bay, about 15 minutes away. It has no engines.

Dan, our Filipino friends Tanno and Aries plus me hopped on the speed boat of the Badladz diveshop. A few minutes later, we boarded the enemy vessel.

Boarding the enemy vessel

With the help of local fishermen, we cut the mooring ropes and attached it to our speedboat.

The fishermen were helping us out.

As soon as this was done, we towed our new boat to a mooring near our place (Badladz).

The speedboat towing us.

The boat

The boat

I’ve never seen a worse boat than that.

  • It has no engine.
  • The roof covers 90% of its body (who wants to sit inside a boat?).
  • The roof feels really unstable. If more than 2-3 stand on the roof, the boat is in serious danger of collapsing. Thus, no parties on the roof.
  • The ladder leading to the roof and the rails on the roof are about to fall of.
  • Just look at the design. It looks pathetic.
  • While we were walking inside the cabin, parts of the floor broke.
  • The boat has a massive cabin including beds and mattresses but no restroom. Good luck leaning over board!
  • WTF is up with that ridiculous heck-spoiler?

The only good thing about this boat is that we didn’t pay for it.

Time to loot

Our initial plan was to smash one of the windows to get inside the boat to salvage some loot (Garmin GPS unit – valued at a few thousand $, radio, other electronics …).

Fortunately, one of the fishermen that helped us cut the ropes had the key. The previous owner used to pay him to look after the boat. Because the owner stopped to pay him, he just gave the key to us.

Dan stripped the boat of its most valuable part - the Garming GPS unit

We stripped the boat of all valuables.

Naming

At first we wanted to call the boat “kulit” (=Tagalog for “naughty”). The boat turned out to be a real shithole, that’s why it is currently nicknamed “SS P.O.S.” (P.O.S. = piece of shit).

Future Usage

We’re not sure yet what we will do with the boat. Our initial plan was to turn it into our private floating bar. Unfortunately, the boat is currently so bad that nobody would want to party on it.

The boat’s destiny might be one of the following:

  • Burn it for New Year’s Eve.
  • Sink it and turn the wreck into a dive site.
  • Take a sledgehammer to destroy the roof and turn it into the floating bar we’ve been thinking about.

We're thinking about sledgehammering the roof above the red line (labeled "DESTROY"). We would keep the cabin in front as a plattform to jump into the ocean.

==============
Background story: The boat wasn’t actually stolen.

Some unfortunate guy paid a scam artist 30,000$ to build him a boat. What he got was this piece of shit – without engines. He didn’t want to spend another 30,000$ on engines so he gave it away.

Our friend Sean from Badladz got permission to take possession of it and we picked it up for him.

Speaking of Badladz: Sean put together a sweet deal for online marketers that are interested in staying in a tropical paradise. Check out the Badladz Adventure Office.

I’ve been staying at Badladz for a few months now and love it. We have entirely too much fun here.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

chey ydel November 16, 2010 at 8:53 am

this story was awesome…….
..cant help myself to smile…..imagining those thing you state on here……
or maybe im just too exagurated…?!!!!

Reply

David November 17, 2010 at 6:56 am

Thanks for your post. You should come to party at the boat this weekend =)

Reply

Darin Manalo November 18, 2010 at 3:46 am

Love Puerto Galera… wonderful..

Reply

David November 20, 2010 at 11:09 pm

Thanks for your comment, Darin.

Reply

Suzy January 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm

What a boat! I haven’t seen a boat quite so top-heavy ha.

Reply

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